Hector Protector was all dressed in green;
Hector Protector was sent to the Queen;
The Queen did not like him;
No more did the King;
So Hector Protector was sent back again.
*****
There was a man named Hector. He was a member of the royal guard for the Kingdom of Duxbury. He started off a lowly peasant boy shining the shoes of all the guards, but he soon rose to join the ranks of brave men protecting the royal family. He rose through the ranks quickly because of his excellent skills in swordsmanship, from gatekeeper to doorman of the queen's quarters. However, he had not reached the highest honor possible, that of the royal taster.
You see, at each meal there is a specially appointed guard to taste each of the royal family members' food for poison. It is considered one of the highest honors to willingly sacrifice one's life on a daily basis for the kingdom. A soldier may ride into battle a few times each year, but the royal taster puts his life on the line each and every night. Naturally, when the acting taster died (from a wild dog attack actually), Hector became quite excited to try to fill the position.
Then, one day the letter came. King Larry and Queen Lola invited Hector to court.
"Oh my", thought Hector, "My day has finally come to live out my dreams. But what must I wear to court? My armor is filthy right now from the muddy drunk last week and all of my other clothes are unacceptable."
He pondered what to do until he remembered his family friend was recently appointed to be an apprentice to a tailor in the kingdom. So, Hector paid him a visit to see if he could help. Unfortunately, all the apprentice could offer was a returned outfit with a hideous green pattern all over.
"No, no", said Hector, " There must surely be something else."
"I'm sorry", said the apprentice, "this is the only outfit that my master won't mind missing, but I assure this outfit follows the latest fashion trend."
Reluctantly, Hector put on the green clothes and went to meet before the royal court. He felt silly, but was comforted by the apprentice's assurances that all of the nobles were wearing similar outfits.
However, the king and queen took one look at Hector and begun to laugh, which made the entire court burst into laughter. Poor Hector was so ashamed that he ran from the court and was never seen again. Some say that he plots his revenge against the apprentice and royal family for making him a fool. Still, others say that he fled into the nearby villages where he found true happiness as a baker.
The Baker, circa 1681, by Job Adriaensz Berckheyde (1630-1693), Source:
Wikimedia Commons
Author's Note: This nursery rhyme stood out to me because of how vague it is. I couldn't help but wonder who Hector the Protector was, why he was dressed in green, and why the queen sent for him only to send him away again.Because of the older language and my recent obsession with Game of Thrones, my imagination went on a tangent of a knight trying to impress the king and queen, but failing miserably. Duxbury is a town near Boston that I visited this summer and it sounds very fitting for the story.
Bibliography: This story is based off of "Hector Protector" in the
Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang.